Settle?? Never!!!

There’s nothing quite like getting together with your family and friends around the holidays or New Year (be it American, Thai, or Chinese New Year) when your relationship status becomes a point of conversation and you receive the most pressure during this time because this is when most of them assemble.

Part of the reason that I am still on the search is probably my own doing. I’ve been told time and again that I am way too picky. There is no such thing as “a perfect man” nor is there “a perfect woman”. I know I’m nowhere near being perfect. But, I do believe that there is such a thing as being perfect for someone and with each person having his or her own criteria, there is sure to be someone in this vast world who would mold to fit the idea of “perfect”.

I’ve been told that I am too picky or selective, that my expectations are too high, that I need to set my standards lower. My thought is always “Don’t I deserve all that I desire?” Surely I will be able to find someone out there who will end up loving me as much as I love him. Is it really that impossible?

A good friend of mine once told me that I should not set my bar so high because I will never find my Mr. Right. I told him that although I don’t mind finding myself a Mr. Right This Moment, that sometimes it is not enough. He proceeded to tell me that’s why I needed to lower my standards otherwise I will never find such a person. Mind you, this is a friend of mine whom at the time was unhappily married and did not have the guts to get out of it despite the fact that staying together meant a very unhealthy relationship for the both of them. Don’t get me wrong. I am in no way for people getting a divorce, but if you have truly tried to work at the relationship and there’s nothing more that can be done and staying together only adds to your continued unhappiness, then you should do what’s best for the both of you and get out. With that being said, I am not an expert on these things so do not take my word to heart. It is just something I truly believe. And because of my strong belief in this matter, I replied to him the only way I knew how. I told him I did not want to settle like he did and be unhappy for the rest of my life. Cruel, I know. But I was honest. I told him I would rather spend the rest of my days searching and hoping that I find that person than to regret later for having settled. Needless to say, he finally got around to getting out of his unhappy marriage and has since moved on and is the happiest I’ve seen him in a long time.

I’ve also been told time and again that I don’t open myself enough to the opportunity of meeting someone; that most often I come off as “stuck up”. My response to that is it takes a moment for me to loosen up and open myself up to people. But when I do, it is like finding a gem that is buried deep within the earth’s crust. I like to think of myself as something worth the work in digging and worth the patience to get through the sometimes rough surfaces. Once you stick around long enough through the labor and really allow yourself to get to know who I am, you will get to see how I can really shine and you will learn that I am one worth keeping. I am not trying to sound conceited, by all means, I am just being honest. I know who I am and I hope to someday find someone who is smart enough to stick around and discover that for himself. I have high confidence that I am a rarity (especially in today’s world). You don’t have to take my word for it, just take the time to get to know me a bit more. I promise you will not be disappointed.  ;o)

Something I found that really drives my point home.